Philip Lewis

Credits with the Savoyards:

Bio

• September 2002
  
  "What ought I to do, on this show?" I say,
  The tasks are not so few, more are on the way;
  The choice is hard to make, there is so much to do, sir:
  My mind must be half baked, I guess I'll be producer!
  
  Yes, Yes, I think I'll be producer!
  
  How is the building of the set? The budget money's all we get.
  The Cast and Crew are sick today (I think they all just left to play!)
  Are Costumes ready? I don't know. (I hope the general's pants don't blow)
  And still they say, I know not why, that they can't get the paint to dry.
  
  "Producer," said she, "I was late, and now my blocking's not so great."
  "I didn't study" (And why not?) "and so there's lines that I forgot."
  "Producer," said he, "Broke my toe, I think I'll have to leave the show."
  "Producer! Hey! I hurt my eye." (I think that I am going to cry.)
  
  Why ever did I think I'd do this job real easy?
  The spotlight's on the blink, boy is my sto----mach queasy.
  The problems they build up until they crush their victim.
  If asked to do this again, I think that I shall hit them.
  
  Ah yes, ah yes---I think that I shall hit them!
• Patience Bio - 1998
  I am the very model of a multi purpose back-stage-geek,
  I've filled in for most actors, the position changes week-to-week.
  I've been a love sick maiden, though I've mostly been a big dragoon,
  i said i wouldn't act this time, but something made me change my tune.
  
  You see I like to be back stage, or running spotlights all around
  or fixing props the actor drops, or pulling curtains up and down,
  That role I'll fill when not on stage (the second and the third show week)
  I am the very model of a multi-purpose back-stage-geek!

  ---

  Here is my little list from our G&S review (2000)
  As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
  I've got a little list--I've got a little list
  Of society offenders who might well be underground,
  And who never would be missed--who never would be missed!
  
  There's the pestilential nuisances who drive with their cell phones
  All people who make ghastly puns, and cause us all to moan.
  
  All children who play vid-eo games, and then there is that man,
  Who hangs out on the internet and always sends you spam.
  
  And people who write private mail, but send it to the list.
  They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!
  
  He's got 'em on the list--he's got 'em on the list;
  And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be miss'd!
  
  There's the week day tee vee talk show hosts, they're such a big disgrace,
  and the Tel-e-van-ga-lists, I've got them on the list.
  
  And the People who smoke thick cigars, and puff it in your face
  They never would be miss'd--they never would be miss'd!
  
  Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
  That, The Three rivers sta-di-um is "useless as a bone."[1]
  
  And the local pol-i-tici-ans, who want to take our land,
  They think we don't see through them, and we won't take a stand.
  
  And that singular anomaly, the geek monopolist
  I don't think he'd be missed--I'm sure he'd not he missed! [2]
  
  He's got him on the list--he's got him on the list;
  And he don't think he'll be missed--he's sure he won't be miss'd!
  
  And that prissy little doctor, who is found nude on the net
  That Judgemental moralist, I've got her on the list![3]
  
  All funny fellows, comic men, who's jokes you do not get,
  They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed.
  
  And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
  Such as- "No new Taxes", Po-ta-to(e), and Likewise-- never mind.
  
  My list i'll not e-nu-mer-ate, and cause me to turn blue
  The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
  
  But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
  For they'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!
  
  You may put 'em on the list--you may put 'em on the list;
  And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed!
  
  
  [1] "Three Rivers Stadium" was a perfectly good 30 year old stadium that we still owed 42 million dollars towards paying off (it was 35 million to build....) The taxpayers twice to not fun new stadiums, but the politicians forced it upon us anyway. they tore 3 rivers down and built two stadiums (football/baseball) in it's place
  [2]Bill Gates
  [3]Dr. Laura

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